service @ the Bijenkorf part 3

Finally! After 8 weeks and 40EU my watch has a new battery.

I got the following text message:
Aftersales, your reparation is ready. Do not forget to bring the original receipt.

Pfff... I will never bring anything to that place again for repairs.

outcomes people, outcomes

Yesterday I had a conversation with an online marketeer who got the assignment to create more brand awareness. He wanted people to engage with his brand etc. and he wanted to show the results to his boss. So I asked him how he would do that and he started of talking about conversion rates: We want to generate leads with the site etc..

Please, if you're an online marketeer stop focusing on that metric so much! I understand that this is very important to know, but on average conversion rates are 2 to 3 percent. Why don't you put some effort in figuring out what the other 97% is doing on your site?
In this case he had a clear goal for the site (which is not always the case) so it's easy to measure when that goal has been reached, but still the question remains: what is the rest of your visitors doing on your site?
It is very much possible that they are looking for address information so they can pay a visit to the physical store, but this is not measured as conversion...

To see the bigger picture online marketeers should start identifying all site elements. In other words for this example: Next to converting visitors to leads, what purpose does the site fulfill to the rest? This -must- be described in outcomes because only then you can see if the site is an asset to your organisation.

Dear Telco

Why are you still offering the (more or less) same old "services" as 5 years ago while we have much more interesting features on our phones these days? Next to that I am using my phone differently than 5 years ago. IMHO the "service" you try to sell us these days should be part of the standard package that we buy from you.

An Online Address Book or a Geo location app would be great! I would love to pay for a geo location app!! I would NOT love to pay for such a service when I already have an internet subscription with a hefty subscription fee of course.

An Online Address book should come standard. Why oh why do I still have to synch with my 'puter in order to have my phonebook on a different phone? What does my 'puter have to do with that?

Great to see who I have called/called me in my "detailed costs overview", but why is this still a list of 4 to 5 pages?! I'd like to see who I call the most, who calls me the most, who I sms the most etc etc. in an instant.
If I can not decipher last months bill I am frustrated and feel ripped of! If I can clearly see why my costs are higher than normal than I might not happily accept it, but at least I don't think you are trying to rip me off with unreadible cost overviews etc.

- Email service: Don't need it, already have an email account.
- Download service: I will NEVER pay for a dumb ass wallpaper or ringtone...
- 1 free text message a day: WOA.... oh please, don't get me started.

Stop the nonsense. Just give me a big fat pipe and the basics so I am able to do what is necessary subscription wise, surf the net properly and use services that I am interested in.

Thank you.

service @ the Bijenkorf part 2

Well...
There is no part 2 really.
I have not received any text message yet.

website ontwikkeling, chroom, schroot etc...

Het WWW is in '89 uitgevonden en in '92 vrijgegeven en heeft sindsdien de manier waarop wij communiceren ingrijpend veranderd Blablabla en het resultaat kennen we, want daar werken we dagelijks mee.

Wat mij verbaasd is dat er veel marketeers zijn die niet goed weten wat ze met het medium aan moeten. En dat is toch vreemd als je bedenkt dat het web intussen al 16 jaar oud is en we veel meer zijn gaan surfen. Alleen al de afgelopen 2 jaar bijna 2x zo veel - Van gem. 43 naar gem. 80 minuten per dag. (bron: Tijdsbestedingsonderzoek 2008, door stichting promotie televisiereclame (SPOT), Radio Advies Bureau (RAB) en Platform Buitenreclame Exploitanten (PBE).)

Ik merk het niet alleen in mijn werk, maar ik zie het ook online. Grote merken gebruiken het web vaak nog steeds als een uithangbord met een beetje zoekmachine optimalisatie. In mijn werk is het eerder regel dan uitzondering dat er een bedrijf aan komt zetten met een zak geld en het verzoek er een mooie website van te maken.

Vervolgens word er een peperdure conceptfase gestart omdat er geen informatie beschikbaar is. Uiteindelijk worden de concepten kapotbesproken en gecombineerd tot er een slap aftreksel overblijfd waar de klant blij mee is, want alle interne partijen hebben het afgetekend.

Maar er is geen vooruitgang geboekt! Het word iets moois zonder dat het onderscheidend is of een achterliggende online strategie meekrijgt. Met als resultaat het zoveelste uithangbord met een gebrekkige online strategie; wat wellicht nog erger is dan géén. Het bekende pakketje schroot met een dun laagje chroom.

Het zou voor marketeers erg veel geld schelen als er eerst een eenduidige visie word opgezet voordat ze naar een internet/marketing bureau gaan. De conceptfase zal dan drastisch korter worden en de risico's op het tussentijds aanpassen van het ontwerp word stukken kleiner. Maar goed, hoe doe je dat als je niet goed weet wat het web en andere internet toepassingen voor je kunnen betekenen bij bijvoorbeeld de launch van je nieuwste product or service?
Tsjah, je gaat naar een internet/marketing bureau...

Of je brengt iemand in je eigen organisatie die wél op de hoogte is van de laatste ontwikkelingen op het interweb. Een sparring partner op wie je je ideeen loslaat en die je laat zien wat de online mogelijkheden zijn. Iemand die op eenduidige wijze de bedrijfs/marketing doelstellingen vertaald naar wat er moet gebeuren. De kosten van zo'n persoon zijn direct terug verdiend op het moment dat je met een eenduidig concept naar een media bureau gaat om het te laten bouwen. (er hoeft geen peperdure onderzoeks/conceptfase te worden gestart) En dan hebben we het nog niet gehad over de drastische verlaging op scope-creep, budget overschrijdingen en deadlines die niet gehaald worden...

Service @ the Bijenkorf anno 2008

Ranting...
On July 25th I brought my watch to the Bijenkorf to have the battery replaced. A few years ago I bought my watch there (U-Boat) and now the battery ran out. Small watch shops (around the corner) couldn't get it open because the watch is rather big so I had to return it to the place I bought it: Diamond point in the Bijenkorf.
They took in the watch, said they had to send it to [whatever] and that it would cost 40 (!!!!) Euro's. I asked if the battery would be replaced by a gold one, but they didn't think that was funny....
They would send me a text message when it was ready.
While I find a text message the most annoying thing ever in a scenario like this, they thought it very hip and happening! So after accepting the the exorbitant costs for such a small thing I went home with the idea that my watch is extremely good taken care of and that it will not take the 3 weeks they said it would take. That's right: 40EU and 3 weeks to replace the f****** battery!!

But after 3 weeks I had heard nothing yet. No text message, nothing. So I called, they would figure out what was going on and they'd call back. But they did not call back! I called again. Same story... I called a 3rd time (yesterday, sep 11), very disappointed in their service. This time they did call back. It appeared that because of people being away on vacation there was not enough personnel and that it will take two more weeks. Once the watch is back they would send me a text message. *argh*

So replacing the battery of my watch takes 8 weeks and costs 40 euro's. You will not be notified if the service is delayed and people do not call back when I ask them if my watch will ever come back. On top of all this misery they will not even call me when my watch is back, oh no, I will get a very hipperdepip text message.

The thing is that I am paying waaaaaaaaaayy to much for such a small thing, which strangely enough I accept. But for his costs-service ratio I do expect a certain level of service. Right now I feel ripped of and I encourage anyone not to use any service at the Bijenkorf. 'Cause if they can not even change the battery of a watch in a normal manner, who knows what will happen if you ask them for something more complex - which is about everything else!

Has the LHC destoyed the world yet?

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworld
yet.com/

in the source code:
"if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn't yet updated please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund"

:D